Apparitions

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“The moon has awoken
with the sleep of the sun,
the light has been broken the spell has begun”

It was the night of the full moon. The ivory satin from the skies fell upon the snow, bringing the heavens along for one night, unabashed. She walked into the thick of the forest, where the trees whispered charms to each other and giggled. Taking off her hood she stood there stark as the shimmer soaked every inch of her body with divinity.

In that moment the moon was awoken. The gleam arose.

She felt the warmth of his cold hands on the narrow of her waist.
“Did you have to wait long?” she asked
“I have been waiting for you for an eternity and will do so for another.”

She couldn’t say a word but every jot of her mortal being recognized his voice.
They had been together from time immemorial. She was given the powers of creation and destruction, while he was created only to watch over her.
He moved his palms over her shoulders as if soothing them and taking away the burden they carried. “Relax” he said
“If I relaxed now, I’d fall apart. I’ve learnt to live like this and this the only way I know how to go on living. If I relaxed for a second I would never find my way back. I’d go to pieces and the pieces would be blown away” she exhaled all the emotions she had held on to.

“You are a star wrapped in skin. While everyone sees you shine, what they see is just a little light that leaks outside. I have peered inside you. I’ve seen the fire and the glow within” he replied as he hugged her

“I am losing a little everyday.” She spoke into his chest

“You weren’t sent here to be a master, you were sent here to learn. Love in all its glory and forms. Universal love, Crazy love, broken love, love infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up. You didn’t come here to be perfect. you already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.” he tucked her hair behind her ear.
“You weren’t sent here to win, my love. You were sent here to live” he continued

In that instant, time took a moment to see romance being immortalized between two of the oldest lovers he had known. Once in a an eon, the moon could descend from he heavens to be with his consort, the earth.

Book Review: Untold Lies. Storyoems – When Stories Become Poems

 

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Author: Raga Olga D’silva
Publisher: Embassy Books
Genre: Non fiction/ Poetry
Pages: 234

I picked up this book soon as it came out, because I have waited for it to be released for a long time. The author Raga Olga D’Silva is a very dear friend. The connection we share is one of stories, some fictional, some real, some told and a whole lot untold.

Untold Lies is an act of courage.
It’s not just the story of coming out, its one of shattering all the boxes that the world puts you in and wants you to stay confined within. Raga spells out pain and heartbreak with honesty topped with integrity. You feel is oozing through her words. She breaks you down and then heals you with the story.
The idea of storyems is unique to being with. When a story seamlessly transitions into a poem it completes it, in ways we didn’t know even existed. The unison is magical.

Raga’s emotional journey through the thick of judgements and the feeling of being unloved leaves you with a heavy heart and yet somehow gives you hope. The irony is delicious.

For anyone looking at a story that warms your insides like a hug from a friend, this book is a must read.

Rating: 3.5/5

Mon Endroit Préféré

 

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Landing on the airport of the city he called home felt different. It had only been a couple of months since he had last been here but it felt like forever. It was raining in this part of the world, in stark contrast to the dry brazen country he was coming from. Cleaning up the mess that civilization was leaving behind was his job. The power to recreate came with a whole lot of travel to inhabitable places.

He couldn’t wait to get home.

Waiting for his bags to come he caught the eye of a lady who had been sneakily staring for a while. He smiled. Shook his head as she walked up to him. He knew what was coming

“Arn’t you that writer Naina’s muse?” she chirped

“Boyfriend” He managed.

No matter what he did to save the world, he would always be known as  “That guy she writes about” he thought and smiled at how much he enjoyed it.

“Oh I knew it. Have seen you in the pictures and read all about you in her stories .You are so handsome, no doubt but she writes so well. Will you tell Naina, I loved her last story about Longing and Belonging. I am sure you loved it too!” She wouldn’t stop
“I haven’t read it” he interrupted
She gave him a very disapproving look.
“When a writer falls in love with you, you become immortal” the lady sighed “that’s what she wrote about you”

He smiled. Picked his bag and walked out.

“I just got to know I am immortal” he typed into a window named Chashmish
“Don’t tell me you read it” She replied
“I read the first one you wrote” He said
“That was five years ago M” She went on
“But I did, didn’t I?!” he defended
“I missed you” came the reply
“I missed u too” he said
“There is a world of a difference between “missed you” and “missed u”” she sent with an emoticon that stuck its tongue out
“You can tell me all about it when my tongue is in that smart mouth of yours” he replied
“Drive safe” ended the conversation

He could see his driver standing alert in all his whites and behind him the love of his life. A black beast.
The driver saluted, handed him the keys and left.
“Shadow my love” he said as he fastened the seat belt and started the ignition “We meet again”
“Welcome back Mr. M” the AI of the car replied “Do I set the co ordinates of the destination on the GPS?”
“I know my way home” he smiled

Driving on the dark winding roads as he left the concrete behind was therapeutic. The rain was cleansing his soul of everything the world had left on him.

It was well into the dark of the night as he pulled up into the parking of the house, far away from the city, in the middle of nowhere. A warm glow from the windows reflected on the wet walk way. He opened the door with his keys, stepped inside. He could smell her perfume in the air he breathed. And then he saw her.

She was sitting with her legs folded on a chair, peering into her laptop on the desk, writing with earphones in her ears. Her hair was rolled up, with a pencil in it. She was wearing just a white shirt. HIS white shirt

He walked up to her and pulled the pencil out of the bun. Her hair fell to her shoulders as she turned around standing up, looking straight into the eyes that were burning through her. He tucked her hair behind her ear, held the collar, kissed her neck and whispered “Mine”
“Talking about the shirt” he giggled as she stood there frozen
“You are such a ruiner M, you kill all my moments” she grumbled and moved away
“You ARE all my moments baby girl” he smiled
“Come here” he pulled her in.

Taking a long look at her he knew he was back into his happy place. While he saved the world, she would save him.

Hiraeth

 

 

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“It’s raining” her phone lit up with a text
She looked at her watch. It was almost time for her to leave. Finished the sentence she was writing and shut her laptop.
Walked out into the usual commotion at the work place. People having conversations that she on another day would be very interested in. But today she had a flight to catch.
As she walked passed her associate after saying a quick bye who smiled at what she saw.
Black shirt, blue jeans and black Louboutins striding like they ruled the world. Which  they did!
“You forgot to take your laptop” the associate tried screaming after her.
She shook her head and smiled back faintly.

Sitting on her usual seat on the aircraft amidst the furore, she dug out her earphones to keep the voices from the outside of her head having conversations with the voices inside her head.
“Boarded” she typed on her phone and sent it before getting off data.
Tracing the raindrops on the window, she drifted off away from the chaos into much needed sleep.

She knew she would be awake just before landing. It happened on every single flight she took. Her phone would be turned on the moment they touched down, and she would be back into the tempest of negotiations.
This time was different.
She just got off the aircraft and into the car that was waiting for her, without a word said.
Despite being in love with words she was a big fan of silence. It was arduous to explain. Voices around her only got louder when she wouldn’t respond, tipping the balance in her head.

 The driver opened the umbrella for her as she got off the car. She shook her hand to signal that she didn’t need it. By the time she walked into the gate she was dripping wet and loving it.
She opened the door of the house and shut it behind her. Left her bag right there. The room was lit just enough. She pulled her neatly tucked in shirt out of her jeans as she climbed the stairs to her room. unbuttoned it all the way through, took it off and left it on the floor next to the bed. She walked towards a tiny door at the farthest end of the room. Took off one shoe after another just before entering it.

He was sitting there with his back to the wall, and legs stretched across, far away from everywhere and everyone they knew, on a tiny terrace which opened to the entire sky. Smoking. He looked at her as she walked towards him. Her hair was falling over her shoulders almost making up for the lack of clothing. She sat down next to him. Her back leaned onto the roughness of the wall. He passed the smoke to her. She took a long drag, let it dissolve the everything she was holding in and then let it out.
He moved his hand behind her hair over the neck. Tilted her head just enough to make her snug. She could taste a familiar feeling in her mouth. She could smell the sense of belonging on him. His hand moved in on her waist like he meant every thing that he wasn’t saying. For a minute, or an eternity there, time stopped.

She breathed again as he pulled away. Opened her eyes to his peering through hers.
“Hi” He said
“Hi” She replied.

 

**Hiraeth
(Noun)
Is a Welsh word that cannot be translated to english. It means longing for something or someone

Besotted

 

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She sat across from me, in her shorts and tank. Legs pulled up to her chest and arms wrapped around them. Holding a warm mug with fingers intertwined. Eyes with smudged kohl and a sleepy smile on her lips, that she couldn’t help.

She said she loved the way I made it, that it was the best coffee in the world.
I believed her!

It was a little chilly and she probably should have worn some more clothes, but she knew I liked to touch her skin, and that wouldn’t let her sit for too long.
She didn’t plan these little things, that made me want her. But they did.

She said it was the eyes. Mine devoured her, while her’s craved me.
I believed her!

Limerence

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She loves the lines on his face, they tell her the story of his laughter. All the years etched in his bones, when he lived through his happily ever after, 

Each tiny freckle on his skin, tells story of once upon a time, of days he smiled till his cheeks hurt, without a reason or rhyme

She loves the way his voice sounds, the way his heart pounds to a mention, a sketch, a sliver or a shadow from..long lost..but known grounds,

An instant of silence..then he moves on, with a wink and a chuckle the darkness is gone. 

She loves the color of his eyes..they are like sunsets of their own, Warm and sad but glowing from the inside like a firestorm.

They shine and sparkle to his stories, like flames of a fire that is burning him, but also keeping him warm. 

 

 

 

** Limerence
(noun)
A state of mind resulting from romantic attraction, characterized by feelings of euphoria, the desire to have one’s feelings reciprocated, etc

 

 

Always

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“My love for this city reduces every time I have to drive in it” She said as she unlocked the car
“I have to go now, too many things in my hands”
“tell me something new” the voice at the other end of the line smirked
“You might have to begin your start up checklist too, haha”
“hang up” she replied smiling
“later then” and he was gone 

Ruhi opened the rear door and like clockwork put the stuff inside. Everything had a specific place. The laptop bag went on the seat, the lunch basket under it. As she sat on the driver’s seat, her handbag went on the seat beside her, the phone in the exact place it was suppose to be. 

“Okay Nyx, lets go” she said, pulling out of her usual parking spot at the office.
Her beloved car was aptly named after the goddess of the night. Black and strong that she was. 

While crossing the gate, out of sheer muscle memory she dialed a number on her phone. Disconnected. And dialed another.
“You were working late” her favorite voice said
“Good days love” she replied “How did you know I just left work?”
“I know things. Like I also know that before you called me, you called him. And like everyday he didn’t answer ”
“He will call back, he mostly does” she sighed “Now stop getting angry at me and tell me about your day”
“I am not angry at you Ru, I am just reminding you that you are his “mostly”” Her best friend snapped.
“And he is my “always”. I know” Ruhi replied softly
“Fine I will tell you about my day” the other side of the line spoke, breaking the awkward silence
“It was definitely better than this conversation, anyway” 

One of the most important part of her driving checklist on the way home was talking to her girl. It was also a tradition they had followed for a decade. Most of their major life decisions were made while in transit. 

“What’s for dinner?” Ruhi asked as she reverse parked into her garage
“I feel like having something nice” came the reply
“You should type that on your food app and have it delivered” she laughed
“The kind of “something nice” I am looking for, wont be found on a food app” the line thundered with laugher on both sides
“You are incorrigible” Ruhi caught her breath
“My level of weirdness is above national average, I am completely okay with that”
“but incorrigible, my dear girl, is you! I don’t know what you see in him. That guy who doesn’t call you back” she continued “he is the only grey in your black and white life, Ru” “not grey, he is blue!” Ruhi deflected as she kissed her best friend good night and hung up. “I am going upstairs and chatting with you” 

Balancing each bag on its designated shoulder Ruhi opened the door to her house. She loved the place. It smelled of lavender and had big french windows overlooking a park. It had two bed rooms but was mostly inhabited by one person. On occasion it was two. She liked those occasions. “Should order that wind chime” she thought to herself as she opened the windows, placed her keys in the bowl on the table and her bags exactly where they went, everyday. 

“Black and white life, she says” she mumbled, ruminating on the conversation she had just had, walking into her room.
Took her bra off before she even took her shoes off and sat on her bed.
“you are right, my life is black and white” she typed in her most used chat window
“and you would rather have it black and blue!!” replied her best friend complete with a wink emoticon 

She put the phone aside smiling at the thought. 

Standing under the shower, with her eyes closed, she let the warm water wash away her day.
Her life had always been blue. She just hadn’t realized it till a few months ago. All the thinking had begun just after. She was adapting to this new color and its shades while blue was just being blue. She loved how it made her feel on the inside but hated that she had no control over it.
“Stop thinking Ruhi” she said aloud to herself as she wrapped herself in her towel, and looked at herself in the mirror.
The jacket on the bed caught her eye. 

He was sitting on the couch with his back towards her, in the room outside. She could only see his shirt from where she was standing. It was blue!
“Hi” he said as her heard her walk in. Still watching tv.
“Hi” She replied, smiling, happy. 

“Have you ever looked at someone and thought, I am so happy you are in my life”
“They might not even know of your existence then, but in that moment there is something about them that makes you think, I am just so happy you are in my life” Ruhi typed to her best friend 

“I am guessing “Mostly” came around” her phone chimed 

“He will Forever be my Always” was her last message for the night.