She walked into the airport much before she was needed to.
It was an ordinary day. The world was in busy keeping it like that, because out of the ordinary scared the world.
She blended into the normal perfectly that day. Grey shirt, blue jeans and white sneakers. The only thing that stood out were her shades. She was the only one wearing them. It was not the kind of day that needed shades.
She walked up to the gate, dragging her bag like it was taking everything she had, showed her ID at the gate and started to move along when a stern looking guard stopped her.
He gestured for her to take her shades off, he needed to see her face to make sure she was the same person from the card.
His face softened a little, like he almost smiled. He gestured her to go on. She smiled back, as she walked away, putting the shades where they were. Her bloodshot eyes were still holding back tears.
She walked into the aircraft in some sort of daze, not remembering the rest of the time spent at the airport. All she could remember was the pain. Something deep inside was hurting. Like it was hollow yet overflowing with excruciating agony.
She had the window seat.
“Are you alright miss?” the cabin crew asked her after the plane had settled on the cruise altitude
“I will be” she replied.
She knew she had to be alright. She needed to do something about it, in that moment she needed to stop feeling. She took out her laptop and started typing.
I am told that time heals everything and that I won’t feel like this forever.
What I am not told, is what do I do with myself right now.
I cannot stop crying, right now. I cannot let go, right now. I cannot think of existing like for a moment more, right now.
I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don’t know what to do with all this hurt right now.
She looked outside the window, wiping the tears, rolling down from her now sore eyes.
Before I met him, I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason. His hands were the only ones mine fit perfectly into. His voice was the only sound I fell asleep to. He was the only one I thought of when my favorite song played. He was the one i was bound to by the invisible cord that tied soulmates together.
He was my red thread.
And I snapped it.
I snapped the red thread and let him go, because real life has a cost.
Where none of us won, and both of us lost.