The Win

Wrapped in a white fluffy towel with her hair tied up, fresh out of the shower she was standing in front of her wardrobe, staring at it blankly.
The room was almost dark. The blinds weren’t open yet, it was just about day break.
“This was supposed to be easy” she whispered to herself as she sat down on the bed.
He ran his finger on her back. Tracing the line the an errant water droplet had left.
“The black one” he said “and the black diamond pendant”
It was a perfect choice for the day she had lined up.
“Go back to sleep” she said, kissing him on his cheek.
“What! No payments for the consult?” He was grinning!
“Add it to the IOU account!” She retorted.
“hmph” he replied grumpily
She picked the black dress that hung in the line of power suits and skirts.
“The shoes we picked from that crazy store in Amsterdam” her favorite voice said half asleep from inside the comforter.
Her day needed a dash of black on it. His choice was perfect.

It was a one of the biggest cases of her career. The butterflies in her stomach were a constant reminder of it. She was prepared to fight it and win it but she was as always a little nervous.
Her usual ride to the office was from the back seat, in complete silence. Today she chose to drive herself.
Dismissing the driver, she took over the controls of the car. Searched her playlist patiently to find the song that she needed to hear, increased the volume to louder than the thoughts in her head and hit the gas.

The courtroom seemed colder than usual, also extremely silent.
I’m not scared to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me” she hummed as she walked towards her team huddled up together.
“How does it look?” she asked the extremely tensed faces.
“We only have closing statements left, it could go either way from there”one of them replied.
“Shouldn’t we have taken the bargain we were getting?” asked a pair of eyes that were holding back more than just pressure.
“There is no bargain on beliefs Missy” She sighed
“The media is going to crucify us, if we don’t make it” another said
“Until we don’t have to die for some else’s sins, I think we will be able to take it” She said as she stood up.
The phone on her table silently flashed a “All the best love”

The court was in session.

“Is the prosecution ready with their closing statement?” said her favorite voice in the entire world
“Yes Your Honor” she replied looking straight at him
She spoke with words that came right out of her heart. Every sentence carrying its weight. By the end of her statement she saw faces around her change. A whole lot of emotions ran free. A pair of eyes on her team had finally let it go.
“Thank you Counselor” His voice was composed and very calming.
She walked back to her seat.
“Is the defense ready with their closing?” He looked at the other side of the room
The defense attorney went on to make his statements to the judge who was not just listening but seeing through each of them too.
“The defense rests” the gentleman had already made his way back

It was the moment of truth for both the sides as the judge began to speak
“After hearing both the sides of the argument very diligently made by the attorneys, the facts compel me to rule in the favor of the defendant”

There was an uproar of voices in the court. The defense was celebrating. Her team was shattered. They had lost.
There was complete silence in her head, she could only hear what his eyes where telling her while not saying a word. He stood up, the courtroom stood up for him and he was gone.

“Chin up guys” she said to her people who were still in disbelief “we know we did our best”
“The media is at the front, would you want to leave discreetly?” her associate asked
“We went to war for something we believed in. We lost. The scars that come from the battleground are not to be ashamed of” she replied
“There is no compulsion for anyone of you to walk with me” she meant every word she said

She walked out to a frenzy of cameras and microphones. Everyone on her team behind her.

The reporters were brutal with their questions. She replied to each of them with a stoic face and a modulated voice. Her demeanor was ice cold.
The questions kept getting nastier in search of a reaction, the reporters were getting frustrated. That only got her more in control of the situation. She wasn’t going to lose this one.
“How does it feel to have Justice Singh rule against you?” one asked
“He did his job well, as I did mine” she responded
“Did he not help with your case?” another one asked
“I did not need help” She replied
“Clearly you did! I mean what’s the point of being with a Judge then?”
“Sir, I wear heels higher than your standards of life” was the last thing she said to them

The team decided they needed to drown the day in cheap alcohol. Her associate asked her if she would want to join them at a dingy watering hole in downtown. She agreed.
“I don’t think they will have premium alcohol you drink” he smirked
“Today deserves cheap rum” she said “I will meet you there”
She walked towards her car, dragging her feet. The heels that had made her feel like she ruled the world were now feeling like shackles. The idea of driving didn’t seem very appealing at that time.
As she opened the lock of her car, her driver walked up to her. Almost mechanically she gave him the keys and settled on the back seat.
“Aap yahan kya kar rahe hain, maine to nahi bulaya tha na?” she asked him how he was there
“Sir ne phone kiya tha ma’am, bole zaroorat padegi aapko meri” he replied
She smiled for the first time since the day had begun.

Reaching home inebriated wasn’t something she had done in a long time, but the copious amount of rum had made sure it had happened.
She fumbled with her bag, to find her keys. Standing outside the door in dim light she saw her name written on the name plate. Just below her’s was his name. “Justice Singh”
The house smelt like someone who knew how to cook was at it. She saw him as she climbed up the stairs, as he saw her.
He walked up to her, took her bag off her arm, held her head and pulled it into his chest.
The ice cold prosecutor who had faced the world with composure just melted.
“Did you cook?” she asked face still buried deep into him
“I did!” he replied holding on to her
“Did you not need to be at the office?” she asked, still not letting go
“I needed to be here more than anywhere else” he tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I lost” her voice was heavy “I am disappointed in myself”
“You did good, Love. It was just a bad day at work. Or a bad judge may be?” he chuckled
“Hey! I love that judge” she wiped her tears, still holding on to him
“And said judge loves you back” he hugged her a little harder
“I am wasted” she said sniffling
“As is my white shirt with all the kohl marks you are leaving on it” he smirked, distracting her
“Will get you a new one” she said moving away “Or you could just add it to consultancy charge from the morning!”
“Did we make the news?” her sentences were taking time to form
“You made the headlines counsellor” he replied “As did your heels”
“The ones we got from that crazy store in Amsterdam” she laughed
She took off her shoes, stood on her tip toes and kissed him.
“I am glad you chose them” she said “And I am glad you chose me”
“I will choose you over and over and all over again, every day” He hugged her
His choice was perfect. He was perfect!

Hiraeth

 

 

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“It’s raining” her phone lit up with a text
She looked at her watch. It was almost time for her to leave. Finished the sentence she was writing and shut her laptop.
Walked out into the usual commotion at the work place. People having conversations that she on another day would be very interested in. But today she had a flight to catch.
As she walked passed her associate after saying a quick bye who smiled at what she saw.
Black shirt, blue jeans and black Louboutins striding like they ruled the world. Which  they did!
“You forgot to take your laptop” the associate tried screaming after her.
She shook her head and smiled back faintly.

Sitting on her usual seat on the aircraft amidst the furore, she dug out her earphones to keep the voices from the outside of her head having conversations with the voices inside her head.
“Boarded” she typed on her phone and sent it before getting off data.
Tracing the raindrops on the window, she drifted off away from the chaos into much needed sleep.

She knew she would be awake just before landing. It happened on every single flight she took. Her phone would be turned on the moment they touched down, and she would be back into the tempest of negotiations.
This time was different.
She just got off the aircraft and into the car that was waiting for her, without a word said.
Despite being in love with words she was a big fan of silence. It was arduous to explain. Voices around her only got louder when she wouldn’t respond, tipping the balance in her head.

 The driver opened the umbrella for her as she got off the car. She shook her hand to signal that she didn’t need it. By the time she walked into the gate she was dripping wet and loving it.
She opened the door of the house and shut it behind her. Left her bag right there. The room was lit just enough. She pulled her neatly tucked in shirt out of her jeans as she climbed the stairs to her room. unbuttoned it all the way through, took it off and left it on the floor next to the bed. She walked towards a tiny door at the farthest end of the room. Took off one shoe after another just before entering it.

He was sitting there with his back to the wall, and legs stretched across, far away from everywhere and everyone they knew, on a tiny terrace which opened to the entire sky. Smoking. He looked at her as she walked towards him. Her hair was falling over her shoulders almost making up for the lack of clothing. She sat down next to him. Her back leaned onto the roughness of the wall. He passed the smoke to her. She took a long drag, let it dissolve the everything she was holding in and then let it out.
He moved his hand behind her hair over the neck. Tilted her head just enough to make her snug. She could taste a familiar feeling in her mouth. She could smell the sense of belonging on him. His hand moved in on her waist like he meant every thing that he wasn’t saying. For a minute, or an eternity there, time stopped.

She breathed again as he pulled away. Opened her eyes to his peering through hers.
“Hi” He said
“Hi” She replied.

 

**Hiraeth
(Noun)
Is a Welsh word that cannot be translated to english. It means longing for something or someone

Always

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“My love for this city reduces every time I have to drive in it” She said as she unlocked the car
“I have to go now, too many things in my hands”
“tell me something new” the voice at the other end of the line smirked
“You might have to begin your start up checklist too, haha”
“hang up” she replied smiling
“later then” and he was gone 

Ruhi opened the rear door and like clockwork put the stuff inside. Everything had a specific place. The laptop bag went on the seat, the lunch basket under it. As she sat on the driver’s seat, her handbag went on the seat beside her, the phone in the exact place it was suppose to be. 

“Okay Nyx, lets go” she said, pulling out of her usual parking spot at the office.
Her beloved car was aptly named after the goddess of the night. Black and strong that she was. 

While crossing the gate, out of sheer muscle memory she dialed a number on her phone. Disconnected. And dialed another.
“You were working late” her favorite voice said
“Good days love” she replied “How did you know I just left work?”
“I know things. Like I also know that before you called me, you called him. And like everyday he didn’t answer ”
“He will call back, he mostly does” she sighed “Now stop getting angry at me and tell me about your day”
“I am not angry at you Ru, I am just reminding you that you are his “mostly”” Her best friend snapped.
“And he is my “always”. I know” Ruhi replied softly
“Fine I will tell you about my day” the other side of the line spoke, breaking the awkward silence
“It was definitely better than this conversation, anyway” 

One of the most important part of her driving checklist on the way home was talking to her girl. It was also a tradition they had followed for a decade. Most of their major life decisions were made while in transit. 

“What’s for dinner?” Ruhi asked as she reverse parked into her garage
“I feel like having something nice” came the reply
“You should type that on your food app and have it delivered” she laughed
“The kind of “something nice” I am looking for, wont be found on a food app” the line thundered with laugher on both sides
“You are incorrigible” Ruhi caught her breath
“My level of weirdness is above national average, I am completely okay with that”
“but incorrigible, my dear girl, is you! I don’t know what you see in him. That guy who doesn’t call you back” she continued “he is the only grey in your black and white life, Ru” “not grey, he is blue!” Ruhi deflected as she kissed her best friend good night and hung up. “I am going upstairs and chatting with you” 

Balancing each bag on its designated shoulder Ruhi opened the door to her house. She loved the place. It smelled of lavender and had big french windows overlooking a park. It had two bed rooms but was mostly inhabited by one person. On occasion it was two. She liked those occasions. “Should order that wind chime” she thought to herself as she opened the windows, placed her keys in the bowl on the table and her bags exactly where they went, everyday. 

“Black and white life, she says” she mumbled, ruminating on the conversation she had just had, walking into her room.
Took her bra off before she even took her shoes off and sat on her bed.
“you are right, my life is black and white” she typed in her most used chat window
“and you would rather have it black and blue!!” replied her best friend complete with a wink emoticon 

She put the phone aside smiling at the thought. 

Standing under the shower, with her eyes closed, she let the warm water wash away her day.
Her life had always been blue. She just hadn’t realized it till a few months ago. All the thinking had begun just after. She was adapting to this new color and its shades while blue was just being blue. She loved how it made her feel on the inside but hated that she had no control over it.
“Stop thinking Ruhi” she said aloud to herself as she wrapped herself in her towel, and looked at herself in the mirror.
The jacket on the bed caught her eye. 

He was sitting on the couch with his back towards her, in the room outside. She could only see his shirt from where she was standing. It was blue!
“Hi” he said as her heard her walk in. Still watching tv.
“Hi” She replied, smiling, happy. 

“Have you ever looked at someone and thought, I am so happy you are in my life”
“They might not even know of your existence then, but in that moment there is something about them that makes you think, I am just so happy you are in my life” Ruhi typed to her best friend 

“I am guessing “Mostly” came around” her phone chimed 

“He will Forever be my Always” was her last message for the night. 

A Shining Instant

ii

 

She didn’t know what she was seeking, didn’t know if she had any questions but the sea was calling and knew she would find some answers..
The waves knew all her secrets, the sand had heard her stories patiently every time she had no one to tell them to.

The beach was sprinkled with smiles, intertwined hands, and promises of eternity..drenched in the golden hue. The sun was kissing the sea good night.
She sat on the sand breathing in the romance.

In the moment best viewed by two, she thought of the one she wanted to be there with. Maybe that was the question which was lashing with the waves.
She filled her lungs with a deep breath of salty air and decided, she didn’t want just anyone there. She wanted someone who would rather be there than anywhere else in the world. Someone who couldn’t imagine being with anyone else but with her.
She knew she deserved her moment in the sunshine

Unbroken 

She had a smile that twinkled at the curve of her lips. A laugh..like when happiness tickled a kid.

The dark of her eyes was sad mostly but sometimes it sparkled. Like she was trying to break away and yet was in love with her shackles.

She was hurt, broken into pieces in parts unknown, yet holding it together like repaired with gold.

He knew she was torn, ruptured, and damaged.. but all he could see was how beautifully she was sewn!

Balance

man

 

There was something about her. Dark mysterious eyes, her fluid white skin, or the way she played with her hair. His demons that used to be balanced with angels were now rebelling, threatening to break lose. They wanted her. He wanted her. Playing with the leather cuff he walked towards her. Allured. Giving in. Tipping the scale.

Release

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Standing in the hot steamy shower. The hot water scalds his grimy soul. Layers. Swirling down the drain. The air. Steamy. Muddled. Each breath searing. Gasping.

His mind.  Chaos. Dark. Full of screams. Cacophony. Pitch getting louder. Rising to a peak. Breaking point. So near. Yet so far.

They needed a release. So did he.

Unlost

Unknown

Wandering between the chaos and cacophonies he drifted through life. Unlost yet captive. Till she waltzed into his commotion. Calmly taking charge, setting him free. All he saw was her eyes. Deep. Mysterious. He knew they were magic and was now bound. Under their spell he was lost and did not want to be found.