Soulmates

soulmate

 

Most people think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.
Soul mates don’t follow rules, they don’t have to be of a certain age, size or description, they don’t even have to be lovers, they could just be any two people who love each other.

Two

two

Two people, two lives, two different directions, with just a two way connection. Meeting at night, making sense of the world around and its plight, then walking away when its bright. Together through every fight, all in spirit,  but not in sight. The two, 2 am friends, keeping it together by holding on tight.

Unabashed

large

 His car screeched on to a halt right in front of the crowd that had gathered along with their cameras. The shutterbugs went crazy clicking even when all they got was the black of his tinted windows.
He was used to the limelight. It had followed him around for a few years now. He had learned that becoming a somebody came with a lot of flash light in the eyes. That was one reason why the “new brute on the list of youngest millionaires” was rarely seen without without his black aviators. They were like his mask that helped him see through the world and stopped the world from seeing through him. He had moved up on the corporate ladder faster than anyone else, using any and all means possible. His latest acquisition had created a lot of stir. No one knew how he had done it but he had made the owner of a chain of restaurants sell a very successful business to him.  That and a very public confession of love and a  proposal of  marriage from a starlet had the media in a tizzy.
Pearl saw Zeke get out of the car and push his way through the crowd, from her cabin at the hospital. The voices from behind the cameras were speaking all at once. “can you tell us what you have decided about Ms. Smith’s proposal?” said one. “Zeke have you made up your mind about getting married to Daisy Smith?” said another. ” When do we expect an invite to the wedding?” said the third. Zeke did not bother answering any one of them. He just walked with his signature smile plastered on his face.
“I am here to see Dr. Pearl” he said to the girl behind the desk, taking his shades off.
She met his eyes and lost her voice. They were the color of honey, it sent a warm feeling drizzling through her. She barely managed to point in the direction he was supposed to go in. He smiled and walked away, leaving her managing an uneven breath.
Pearl wanted to see him and didn’t want to at the same time. It had been years since they had had a conversation, barring an exchange of a few texts.
He knocked at the door that had “Dr. Pearl Charles, Head of Neurosurgery” written on it. He was so proud of what she had grown to become, all by herself. He had offered to help her out, by getting some things done his way, but she had be adamant on doing only the right things.
“Come in” he heard her say
“Good afternoon, Dr. P! I am your three o clock” He said as he entered.
“Hi Zeke” she said standing up
He hugged her tightly, locking his arms around her. She took a second before giving in completely and melting into them.
“I missed you” He whispered into her ears.
She moved away abruptly and walked back to her chair. It had been a while since she had heard that voice, saying those words.
“How have you been?” she asked
“Haven’t you been reading the tabloids?” he smirked
“I have, that is why I am asking” she said sternly, avoiding eye contact
“look at me when you talk to me P” he said
She raised her eyes and looked at him. He couldn’t help but smile.
“tell me” she said
“She asked me to marry her” Zeke said softly
“I read” she replied
“I do not know what to say to her” he went on
She held his gaze but did not reply.
“What do you think I should?” he said
“I don’t know Zeke, its for you to decide, not me” she said looking into her phone
“would I be sitting here if it were that easy?” he said
“I don’t see the problem” she was now miffed
“The problem Dear doctor, is that I have been fighting to be who I am all my life, What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for” he said stubbornly
“From where I see it, the problem seems to be that you are winning the fight but losing your self” she finally looked back into his eyes.
They were earnest as they always were, staring at her as if they knew what they wanted. She missed the glint of innocence she was so used to seeing in them. She saw love, like she had always seen but chose to ignore it.
“I will never be able to love anyone else, you know that, don’t you?” he said, the first sign of frustration showing on his perfect face. “Come with me, I promise it will be worth it” he continued
“You are a dangerous man Zeke, cause you almost make me believe in the impossible” Pearl said. “You know I wont be a part of the world that you have created for yourself. You always knew this, and still chose it”
“I understand all what you have said, but what I fail to understand is that how can you fall out of love, just like that” he said
“I love you Zeke, but I love myself more” she replied staring right at his soul.
He got up and left.
The crowd that was waiting for him went crazy. The cameras went to work again, followed by the questions. “Zeke please tell us if you are marrying Daisy?”, “When is the d-day?” “when will you announce the wedding date?” He stopped walking, looked at the window where a pretty girl in a lab coat and blue jeans stood and looked at him.
“I cannot marry Daisy” he said firmly
” I love someone truly, madly and ridiculously, the only way I know how to love. She runs through my veins with blood, I do not think I will be able to love anyone like that ever again. She owns my heart, I am happy to be owned. So ladies and gentlemen I am taken” he said unabashedly and walked away.

Of Longing and Belonging

Image

She sat at the centre of the table surrounded by suits. The black, blues and greys waiting patiently for her approval. A peculiar shade of brown was making a presentation. “This day could use a drink” Leah thought as she flipped through the papers on the table. It was her sixth meeting for the day, and she had already made up her mind. The room fell silent as she rose to speak.
“Gentlemen” she said, standing tall and pretty. “the contract is yours, I shall be seeing you at the welcome dinner of the tallest building on skyline of our city,  exactly a year from now”
“But ma’am” said the presenter “one year would be cutting it too thin”
“Then stop wasting time and get started” she said, picking up the papers.
All eyes were on her even when the men spoke among themselves
“You guys have a nice evening” She said as she walked out of the door.

She got into her car and typed a text to a pre set list of people. “One hour, the usual place” it read. By the time she drove out of the parking, she had five confirmation messages on her phone.
Leah drove through the city listening to music for about an hour. “The Usual Place” was where she mostly went to get a drink with friends. She pulled in, in front of the gate and handed the car to a brightly smiling valet.
“Good evening madam” he said”Good evening John” she said “Have the others come?”
“No madam”
She smiled at him and walked in a familiar looking place. It was mostly dark with dim lights breaking through evenly. Soft music played contently in the back ground. She was directed to her favourite corner by the manager. She walked through acknowledging every smile with a nod. The corner was at the farthest end of the joint. It had a complete view of the place. Leah sat on the darkest side of the high table. She could see a lot of new faces around. Fridays had the pub hopping crowd making rounds of the place. She checked her phone for updates from the people she was waiting for. “Trafucked” was emotion shared by all of them. She knew she would have to wait alone for a while so she signalled the waiter.
“Rum and coke, madam?” he said with a bright all knowing smile
“No Jo, I shall have a Cherry Martini today” she replied. He noted it in his pad and walked away.
She was celebrating the beginning of new project. Her drink was brought to her within minutes. The first sip sent a warm feeling through her. She smiled to herself, set her glass down and began what she loved to do. Watch people. She loved reading gestures and expressions. She had read and researched it extensively, which made her good at it. It had also helped her in not giving away her emotions unless necessary.

On the table across her sat a couple having an animated conversation. The girl touched the man’s arm lovingly while trying to explain something to him. Leah couldn’t hear them but from the gestures she knew that the girl would succeed in whatever she was trying.
Her gaze moved to two people walking to their table. The man had his hand on the small of the lady’s back. She moved her hand on the rim of the glass as her eyes followed them. The man was almost showing off his girl. The girl moved along as if she belonged to him.
She liked what she saw but the feeling going through her were confusing. Everyone around belonged somewhere and to someone. But Leah didn’t belong anywhere and she never really belonged to anyone. People thought she was too wonderful, too wonderful to belong to them or that something too wonderful would hurt too much to lose.
She took a big sip of her drink still lost in thought. She was a dream chaser, she chased them one at a time and transformed them into reality. She had travelled around the world doing it, so the word home did not have a permanent address for her. Her friends said she was like water, she took the shape of the glass she was poured in and fit right in. Her thoughts were interrupted by someone pulling the chair next to her.
“Crazy traffic hour” the girl said signalling the waiter, who walked to them in reflex. “Get me a long island please” she continued
“Its nice to see you Kay” Leah said shaking her head “Bad day at work?”
“Isn’t that like everyday” she replied “Unless its your work, what are we celebrating?” she asked signalling to Leah’s drink
“The beginning of Orion” Leah answered
“Orion! the tallest building in the city, with a revolving restaurant on the top,  congratulations! ” Kay smiled “I could drink to that” She raised the glass the waiter placed on the table.
They clinked glasses
“Tell me what you were thinking about when I walked in” she tapped Leah’s hand “Your observations are always fun”
Leah moved her eyes in the direction of the couple she was observing.
“I was thinking of longing and belonging” she said “Of how someone who has everything, would still yearn for just a feeling, and how it..” she stopped talking as she noticed Sam approach.
She shifted in her chair a little. She liked him and knew that he liked her back. Both of them had decided on being with each other without any commitments. It worked well for them. Both of them had jobs that took most of their time and attention, leaving little to spare for any kind of relationships. Leah loved the arrangement as much as Sam did. There were times when she missed having something more but she simple chose to ignore the feeling. There were times when the feeling was stubborn, those times, like today she just hid them behind a mask
Sam kissed her cheek and hugged Kay.
“Congratulations on the Orion babe, you make us so proud” he said holding her hand
“Thank you” she replied, wishing just a little that there was a ‘me’ instead of an ‘us’ in the statement
She felt his hand move away from hers casually as it was placed upon, as he took the chair opposite her.
“So what did I miss?” He said
“Leah was just telling me about belonging” Kay said stuffing food her in her mouth and pointing the fork the direction of the couple.
Sam looked over and saw a girl rest her head on the shoulders of the man sitting next to her.
“Belonging” He said, weighing his words “makes us vulnerable, I think”
He looked at Leah as he spoke.
“What do you say princess Leah?” he asked
Leah finished her drink, and bit on the drunk cherry.
“We all long to belong, But maybe some of us aren’t meant to belong. Some of us have to turn the world upside down and shake the hell out of it until we make our own place in it.” She said from behind her ice cold mask.

An Alluring Reverie

Image

Pakhi parked the car at her usual spot. She had reached work earlier than usual. The elevator ride to the top floor took about a minute. People suddenly became aware of her passing through the aisles as she walked to her cabin. She was wearing a crisp black suit and a white shirt, her hair was pulled all the way back and tied high. Smiles and morning wishes made rounds. Her assistant fumbled with the papers in her hand as she spotted her. “Good morning Ms. Singh” she said “your coffee will be ready in a minute”
She tapped her shoulders and smiled.
Her cabin was designed by her best friend. It was made perfectly to her taste. A window that overlooked the city, an antique mahogany desk on which sat her modern gadgets, glass shelves lined with books and a leather couch. All the time she wasn’t travelling for work, she spent in her cabin.
She sat on chair looking out of the window, waiting for her coffee. The sky was glowing amber. It was an early onset of summer. She had missed her city. The last couple of months had been gruelling with meeting and events around the world. She was still jet lagged from the long flight that got her home last night.
A blinking red light on her phone caught her attention. It was a text from Zeb.
“Happy birthday Grampa” it read. She smiled as she replied back to her best friend with the same words.
She looked at the picture placed on side of her table. It was of an old man with silver hair, and two girls in summer dresses kissing his cheeks. The picture was taken on one of his birthdays. The girls travelled to his house in the hills every year so they could be with him on that day. She held the picture tightly as she thought of the house they spent their summers in. It was old as it was large. It looked like a Swiss chalet hidden in trees. The meadow at the back of it, was where they had spent endless afternoons chasing butterflies and listening to wind blowing through the grass. It was also where the old dog Mr.Rumpelstiltskin would chase them all day, then they would lie on the terrace all night making up shapes of the stars and share alien stories.
She sighed as she drifted back to the days she missed the most. Somewhere in between listening to Grampa’s stories and reading to him they had grown up. Mr. Rumpelstiltskin was buried in the meadow after a service they had held for him. The late night stargazing sessions ended in discussing crushes and romances. One summer after college Zeb had re decorated the house with Grampa’s help. The project had helped her get into one of the top design institute of the world. It had made him so proud. Pakhi remembered sitting on the ledge of the window that faced the forest in the front of the house. That was where she had written her first book. She was now a famous author and head of a department at a leading publication houses. Both the girls were living the dreams they had shared sitting over branches in the woods. The chase had taken them away from the place it all began. Pakhi missed the carefree days spent there, of reading in the shade while they wind played with her hair. She craved the sunshine that filtered through her straw hat on to her face.
Her reverie was interrupted by the knock on the door. Her assistant ushered herself in with coffee in one hand and her schedule for the day in the other. She looked surprised as she saw her boss packing up.
“Please push forward all my meetings to after the weekend” She said as she walked out of the cabin, smiling. By the time she reached the elevator she had typed a message to Zeb “Picking you up in 30” it said.
Even though the house was just a couple of hours away from the city, the girls hadn’t been there since Grampa had passed away. After what seemed like forever they stood there, looking at it glow on a hot summer afternoon, more alluring than it ever was. They took off their heels and walked bare feet onto the grass that lead to the back of the house. The branch they sat on and made plans of the future, stood exactly where it was. They sat on it reminiscing the times that made them what they are. Pakhi let her hair fall to her back as she shut her eyes, soaking it all in. She felt a tickle in her ear which made her open her eyes in a hurry. Zeb was holding a blade of grass in her hand and grinning.
“Dear Ms. Bestseller, heres to inform you that the last one to reach the house makes dinner” She said and started running towards the house. Pakhi smiled as she began chasing her.
They were finally home.

Winds of Change

pia1

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.” These lines by Paulo Coelho changed the way I looked at change.
Some changes happen in small doses, one moment at a time. Others happen all at once. Changes shake us and shatter us, even scare us. Stepping out of the secure zone might be scary but holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better. Incredible change happens in life when you decide to take control of what you do have. Some changes look negative on the face but you will soon you realize that space is being created in your life for things that should be. Luck is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. Making that choice might trigger a change, that change is what is going to set things right. Change doesn’t destroy, it creates.
The winds of change are audacious, they will blow whether you like it or not. The best thing is to do is adjust your sails and get ready for the ride!

Pretty Little Secret

sad-man-and-rain

His favourite mornings began with a message from her. Even the harmless “good morning” jump started his day with a smile. On days she didn’t message, everything seemed wrong with the world.  He had known her for a short while but it seemed like an eternity. They had become good friends over a period of time. He watched her work her way through the day, hiding is stares between causal conversations. He hoped his eyes didn’t betray him and give away what he had been hiding.
He saw her through the window. She was impatiently looking into her phone. She was waiting for him. All he wanted to do was sweep her off her feet and take her in his arms. Instead he stood at a distance, watching her. Stealing a moment as he filled his eyes with images of her.
He wished he could tuck the errant strand of hair that kept troubling her. He wished he could freeze the smile that curved on her lips. He wished he could kiss her forehead, and wipe all her worries away. He wished to be the reason of her happiness. He wished he could tell her what she meant to him.
He sighed as he walked up to her.
She smiled as she saw him, his heart skipped a beat. She was complaining about him being late, but he couldn’t take his off her earring that kept kissing her cheek. He cleared his throat and apologised. She kept talking, telling him everything that happened along with everything that could have happened, questioning him with her big eyes when he didn’t respond. He shook his head and replied to her. The sun kept crawling to meet the western horizon as their chats went on, then it was the the time of the day he hated the most. Time for her to go back into her world, and for him to come back into his.
They would spend the whole day talking yet he would miss her when she was gone. He would look at her pictures when she wasn’t there, making him feel her presence around him. He would replay the stories she would tell him, imagining himself with her in them. He would wait all night for it to be morning, just so he could see her again. She was the last thought in his mind before he slept and the first after he woke up. He wondered if she thought of him sometimes the way he thought of her. He wondered is she would let him do, all that he wanted to.
She was pretty and she was smart, she was perfect like a piece of art. She was everything a girl should be. The only thing she wasn’t was that, she wasn’t his.
“Why am I afraid to lose you, when you aren’t even mine” he thought aloud.
The thought troubled him for a bit, but he pushed it away. He didn’t care who she belonged to, cause no one could take her thoughts away from him.
She was and would always be his pretty little secret.

Sandstorms

woman

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

Friends Forever

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.
The meaning of friendship or what friendship means to you is one the hardest thing to explain or learn. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. The glory of friendship is the inspiration that comes when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you. When someone stands by you, without asking a single question. When conversations without words make more sense than the ones with words in them. When you don’t care about the world walking out just because that one person walks in. The only way of having a best friend in life is by being one.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our souls, and we are never, ever the same. Those that go from having a small place in your heart, to owning a part of it. Those that make forever worth it.